My Time of Dying
by maximumfan
Summary: After a vampire attack, Leah at to the point of death. Will reflection time make Leah choose Jake, or someone else? Will Leah give up, or keep fighting? Lots of angst, semi Blackwater. Song fic: My Time of Dying by Three Days Grace


**A/N: Howdy! Have a Happy New Year! Enjoy this Blackwater!**

_On the ground I lay_

_Motionless, in pain_

_I can see my life,_

_Flashing before my eyes_

After the newborns came, we had to split up. Jake to the east, Seth to the west, and I took the north. Well, to my luck, that's where the strongest one went. I tried as hard as I could to fight him off, to rid the world of him, but he managed to wrap his arms around me. Bye bye to most of the bones on my left side, which includes my fighting hand. From there, the newborn gave me a major concussion and cracked my skull in a few places, from the feel of it. I howled in pain and the newborn scrammed, afraid that my backup was coming.

I lay on the cold, hard ground. I was so tired. Tired from the fight, from life. Jake's thoughts came through my head, as I was in werewolf form.

'Leah! DON'T GIVE UP DAMN IT! WAIT UNTIL I GET THERE! HOLD ON LEAH!'

With all my remaining strength, I morphed back into human form. And may I say that, holy shit, that hurts like hell! I screamed in agony and then fell silent when I was a human again. My life passed before my eyes as I withdrew myself into the pain. Images of Jake, Seth, my mom and dad, and the werewolf pack flashed in rapid motion while the blood poured down my face.

_Dead I fall asleep_

_Is this all a dream?_

_Wake me up_

_I'm living a nightmare._

"I'm sorry Jake," I mumbled and fell into uncociousness. Blackness took over and I felt myself drifting. No, there was no white light or tunnel, just a blissful nothingness. It was nice. After a while, I wondered if I was just dreaming or if I was actually dead. God, I hoped it wasn't the latter. Jake would kill me. In fact, I will wake up for him. It would kill him if I die, I think. 'Come wake me up Jacob,' I thought deliriously. Wake me up to my horror story of a life. Wake me up to my nightmare.

_On this bed I lay_

_Losing everything_

_I can see my life_

_Passing me die_

It must have been the next morning or something because I woke up in a foreign room and in a hell of a lot of pain. From the smell of it, I was in Jacob's room. I relaxed a little, knowing where I was, and tried to get up. Ow. Okay, really bad idea.

My head felt like it was going to explode, so I decided to just lay back. After the buzzing went away, I heard voices outside the door. It was Jake and . . . Renesmee.

"Jacob, why are you making such a big deal over this?" Jacob paused. "She's my best friend. If she died… it'd be all my fault. But Renesmee… you know I love you. I love you more than anyone. Even Leah. You know that, right?"

She paused before saying yes and then walked away.

I was shaken to feel tears rolling down my face. I knew he loved her more than me, but the weight of him saying it out loud was too much. Him saying he loved someone more brought up memories. This always happened to me, no matter who it was. Mom loved Seth more, Sam loved Emily more, and Jake loved Renesmee more. My whole life, everyone overlooked me, didn't love me as much. It just happens over and over again, no matter their promises or their denials.

_I will not die; I'll wait here for you_

_I feel alive, when you're beside me._

_I will not die; I'll wait here for you. _

_In my time of dying_

I wiped the tears from my face and composed myself as much as I possibly could. Even though I felt like I could just give up now, let the injuries overcome me, I won't let the vampire win. I won't let the pain beat me. I will win this fight against the world, whether it wants me to or not. I won't die until the recognition I deserve is acknowledged. I'm a frikin' first – the only female werewolf or "shape shifter" in existence! Someone will recognize me and love me and I'll feel alive and happy again. I was determined to wait it out, as long as I had to. Like Robert Frost once said, "miles to go before I sleep." Guess he had it right. Because I will wait for the recognition. As long as I have to. Even in my time of dying.

**R&R****, s'il vous plaît! Je t'aime ****forever**** !! ****Sorry, ****Français**** project due, and now I have the words stuck in my head. PLEASE review! I'm addicted! **

**maximumfan**


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